When will I see
by Reita'sTwin
Summary: Kai loves Reita, he really does but; does Reita feel the same way, covering bruises on Kai every night. Calling him names that should only be used for worst person in the world. And Ruki knows, he has known ever since Kai and Reita got together!
1. Chapter 1

"Akira, please I'm sorry!"

He slapped me again, but I didn't hit the ground he kept a hold on my arm.

"I don't like hitting you, Yutaka."

He pulled me into and tight embrace, but I tried to push away.

"What? Why are you pushing me away? You hate me don't you?"

"No! I love you!"

"No you don't you little bitch, you hate me!"

"No, please. I love you!"

He punched me in the face and I fell to the ground.

"Go make yourself useful and make me something to eat."

He said it calmly, but he was still angry.

"Okay, okay. I will, I love you, Akira."

"Yeah, yeah."

He went up stairs into his room and slammed the door. I cried. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up hearing banging up stairs, I got scared, I knew Akira had anger problems but he never took it out on anything but me.

"Damn it!" I was afraid of what he was mad about, maybe it was about me. It was always about me; I always screwed up and he would get mad. It had to have been my fault, whatever it was.

"Yutaka, get up here now!"

I was right, I had done something and I wasn't there to get what I deserved and now he was even angrier. I stood up shakily and climbed the staircase. I saw him hitting the wall with a hammer. He quickly turned to me.

"Come here, Yutaka."

I walked over and looked at the hole he made. "Why did you do this?"

"Because, if you don't start doing what I ask, you're going to end up like this wall."

I shivered at the thought of how he would be able to accomplish that. "Okay, I will."

"Now make me something to eat." I nodded and he continued to destroy our wall. I went back downstairs and into the kitchen. I was afraid, he was cursing so much upstairs.

I thought he was going to come down and kill me! I decided to make Miso soup. It was easy and he liked it. As I was making it I was trying to remember a time when things weren't like this.

"_Keep you eyes closed, Yutaka." I laughed, I didn't know what was going on but the sound of Akira's voice is was something exciting. "Akira, what's going on?" "Okay, you can open your eyes…now." I opened my eyes, to see a beautiful decorated dining room. There were balloons and a beautiful cake. He handed me a present. I looked at him. "Akira, what is this?" "Happy Birthday, My Love." He kissed me on the lips. "I love you."_

I started to cry thinking about this, wondering where it all went wrong?

"Akira! Your food is ready."

He came down stairs and into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and I gave him his food, but he just stared at me. I walked away, only to be grabbed by the arm.

"I love you, Yutaka."

I nodded, and walked away. I wanted to believe him, and I did. It just got harder, to believe that him saying that he loved me. Just meant that he really disgusted me and wanted to end my life so he wouldn't have to see my pathetic face. I walked toward the sink so I could wash to dishes that we left. I was concerned because I didn't hear him eating.

I heard sniffling, he indeed wasn't eating. He was crying. I felt horrible, it was probably what I had done to make him sad. I didn't say 'I love you' back. I walked back over to him and bent down to kiss his cheek. He looked at me. His mouth opened as if he was going to say something but, closed again; he looked at the ground.

"What's wrong, Akira?"

He pushed out of his chair and stood up. Grabbing my hand gently he took my up stairs. We were heading to our room, by the large hole in the wall.

I really had to get that fixed. We went in the room, he closed the door and turned to look at me in the eyes; he kissed me passionately.

Putting his strong arms around my body. He picked me up and carried me toward the bed. Lying me down, he got on top of me, kissing me on the neck. This is the Akira I loved. The one I fell in love with. The one I will always love. His hands were traveling up my shirt touching my stomach and nipples.

I shivered at the feeling. He lifted my shirt over my head carefully. I was completely flat on my back wanting more. He began kissing down to my stomach.

"I want you, Yutaka; so badly." He whispers, I nod trying to take off my own pants. He pulls them down and clean off along with my underwear.

He traveled down my body to penis and took it in his mouth. I gasped loudly and arched my back, he took it out. He started to remove his own pants. He spread my legs and positioned himself, pulling my legs around his waist. He shoved inside of me pulling me up closer to him. He kissed me on the lips, as I wrapped my arms around him holding on for dear life.

As he was pounding in my unprepared body. It was dry, I didn't think he noticed and it hurt a lot but it also felt so good.

"Ah! Oh God Aki-Akira!"

I screamed tightening my hold around him. I suddenly noticed that I was crying.

The tears were coming down fast. The pain was just too much. "Akira, please not so hard." "Shut up." He started to thrust harder and the pain wasn't subsiding. I could feel myself start to bleed, and tried to my best to push him off.

He wouldn't stop.

It just got worse, I could see the blood spill onto the bed. "No, No more Akira! Please, it hurts."

"Shut the hell up!" He just kept going, my body started to tense up at ever thrust he made. Making it harder for me to think of how I was going to get out of this, unharmed. If that was even possible. He suddnely pulled out, angrily and slapped me across the face. I started to cry. "You are so weak, you cry when someone just looks at you."

"Why are-why are doing this?"

"Because I want to, I'm not hurting you; I'm trying to put you in your place. That's all." He smiled as he was putting his clothes on. "I'm going out, please clean yourself up and the bed. You made a mess almost everywhere." I sat up and nodded, he blow me a kiss and left the room. I laid back down exhausted, and tried to go to sleep but the pain was just to much. I cried. I cried myself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

At the Peace and Smile Company building, I was doing some paper work but it was really hard to focus.

The pain in my back and this headache I had was killing me. I was really behind and it was hard catching up. I heard the door open and instantly thought I was going to get beaten to the point I wouldn't be able to move. The person who was coming in was Ruki.

"Hello, Kai!" He says in a playful and really loud voice. I put my hand on my head and hissed in pain. He had a worry look on his face.

"Are you okay?"

"Um, yeah totally. So, what's up?" He smiled looking very interested in whatever he was going to tell me.

"Uruha is going out with Aoi now! It's so cute, Uruha as scared to death about asking him out and now he asked. Well, he pretty much yelled it out in front of everyone; and Aoi happily agreed. Aren't you happy for them?"

"Yes, I am and it is cute; but don't you think they are going a little too fast."

"Shall I say the same thing about you and Reita? You guys slept with each other on the first date."

"Yeah, but that was different-." I instantly stopped; it really wasn't different at all.

"What are you talking about Kai? How is it different?"

"Never mind, it not I just was thinking about something else."

"About what?"

"Nothing don't worry about, it's fine."

"Yutaka, did he do something to you?"

"Who?"

"You know damn well, who I am talking about. Akira, did he do something to you last night or the night before."

"We had sex."

"You know what I mean; I mean did he hit you."

"No! Akira would never-."

"Cut the crap Kai; okay I know he did something to you."

"Why do you always accuse Akira for doing stuff like that?"

"Because I know he hits you!"

"No, he does not!"

"Then, what's that on your head!"

"Nothing, now go away please; I have a lot of work to do and in such little time." He just stood there; I could tell he was angry. The door opened, and it was Akira. He looked at Ruki, like he was a rat.

"What the hell are you looking at?" I had to stop them or something bad might happen.

"Ruki, please don't start."

"Why the hell are you here?"

"I'm talking to Kai, about something important."

"Oh, really and what might that be?"

"It was nothing Akira," I stepped in the conversation.

"We were just talking about what song we should start with at our next live." Akira looked at me, then back at Ruki. I was hoping he would buy it.

"Okay, well Ruki you can leave now."

"Nope, I think I'll just sit right here."

"Ruki, please leave I have to talk to Akira about something."

"That's cool, go ahead. You won't even know I'm here." I could tell Akira was getting angry. I had to get Ruki out of here.

"Takanori, you need to leave now!"

"Why are you yelling at me? Kai, I just want to sit here and you know be near you guys."

"Takanori, please."

"Fine, I'll just go then." He left out, but not without slamming the door. I sighed and then looked at Akira.

"Akira, I'm sor-."

"What the hell was he doing in here?"

"We just talking, what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, just that I hope you know; you don't belong to him. You belong to me."

"What? I don't belong to you. I love you but, you don't own me Akira."

"What did you say?" My heart was pounding now; I was going to get it.

"Nothing."

"What!"

"Nothing, nothing I didn't say anything." He walked over to me slowly and put his hand on my cheek.

"You know I love you, right." I nodded, but he slapped me. He turned and walked away.

"I want you home by 7:30." He left, slamming the door. I started to cry. I wanted Ruki.

After a long day of non-stop paperwork and talking about when our next lives are, it was time to go home. I got into my car and pulled out of the curb. As I was driving I couldn't help but think about the punishment I was going to receive when I got home. It was 9:00 when I left and I was supposed to be home way before then.

Hopefully Akira wasn't home yet and I could act like I came home at 7:30. That wasn't the case he was home, his Harley was parked right in the driveway. I parked next to it, and got out of the car scared to death. I unlocked the door and opened it. The kitchen light was on and I saw him sitting in the kitchen just staring at me.

"Hi; Yutaka." He said it so calmly like he wasn't angry.

"Hi, Akira; Are you hungry do you want me to make you something to eat." I started to put my stuff down and walked slowly toward the kitchen.

"No, because I should've eaten at 7:30; but you weren't home."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't leave; I had too much to do."

"That's really not an excuse to me, I told specifically 'Come home at 7:30.'" I walked toward the sink.

"I thought you would understand; I was going to come home late regardless!" I couldn't believe I was yelling at him, I looked at him and completely regretted it.

"I'm sorry, Akira I didn't mean to yell at you." He got up and I looked away, I couldn't look at him as I thought he was about to hit me. He kissed me on the cheek and said goodnight. He left and walked up stairs, not slamming the door as he went to his room. I just stood there in the kitchen, wondering what just happed.

**~~~The Next Day~~~**

The morning I woke up, Akira was already gone and I had an extreme headache. I laid there, the bed for a few minutes before actually getting up and I started to cry. I was asking myself,

"Why didn't he hit me last night?" I was more scared than ever, I thought that if he didn't hit me last night then tonight was going to be even worse. I finally got and looked at myself in the mirror. I realized I had a huge bruise on my head and I don't remember it being there yesterday.

"Whatever, it's probably nothing." I walk into the bathroom and take a shower. I try to think on how I got the bruise on my head in the first place. Come to think of it, I don't remember go to bed last night either. Maybe he did hit me, in the head and I passed out. For some reason all of this thinking made my head hurt, so I just stopped thinking about it and relaxed.

Later, I met up with the rest of the band except for Akira of course. We all had practice and we were all in the practice room waiting. So, I asked about Uruha and Aoi, and how their relationship was doing so far. I saw both of them sitting next to each other on the couch we had in the practice room. They were talking, and I walked over to say 'Hi.'

"Hey, guys Ruki told me the good news." Uruha giggled and I thought that was really girly but he was in love. Uruha was to busy laughing, Aoi explained what was going on between them.

"So, you heard? We promise Kai we won't have a relationship that will affect the band in any way."

"No, no it's okay." They smiled and continued to talk about what they were going to do after practice. If Akira shows up, then we could get started.

"Hey, Kai where the hell is Akira?" Ruki, he wasn't the one to be patient and when he was impatient he would act like a Jackass.

"I don't know, Takanori why don't you call him." As soon as I said that I heard the door open along with laughter. I looked over and saw Akira with some girl, I didn't know who she was.

"Hey, guys this is a _friend_ of mine. Her name is Ayaka and she has been dying to meet us."

"Akira, what are you doing with her?"

"Don't worry about it!" He yelled at me, I was about to cry but I didn't.

"Let's just start practicing now." The other looked at me, but I couldn't get myself to look at them.

We practiced for 2 an half hours with a 30 minute in the middle. As we were putting our instruments away, Akira left with Ayaka out the door. I was pissed, where the hell were they going to go?

"Hey! Akira, where are you going with her?"

"Yutaka, go back inside I was just taking her home."

"Yeah, whatever she go can go back home by herself. She doesn't need any help, I'm sure she gets around pretty well!" He let go of her hand and walked over to me. He looked very angry and it sent chills throughout my whole body I didn't know what to do I was scared. He slapped me across the face, not hard enough to make me fall over but hard enough to have instant tears form and stream down my face. I looked at him, but his back was turned and he was already walking with her back to his car… My car and drove off laughing. I felt weak, I just let take some girl, away to do "God knows what" in my car.

I looked up at the sky and it looked like it was about to rain, so I turned to back in the building and saw Ruki, standing there with his little arms crossed.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"We were just-."

"Shut up, Yutaka I am so sick of your lies. I'm sorry I'm sounding harsh but, I saw him hit you and I _know_ this isn't the only time he's done it."

"Leave me alone Takanori, you don't know what you're talking about!"

"Oh, I don't? Yutaka I care about you and if this continues he could something even worse. Like kill you."

"He just has a lot going on right now."

"What about that whore he left with? How do you feel about that? Right, you can't say anything because you know it hurt you to see him with her." I looked down because he was right.

"You can't keep living like this, in fear. Afraid that just talking will get you the beating of a life time." There was long silence between us, I was thinking about what he just said but I love Akira. I really do and I don't want our relationship to end in any way. Ruki looked around, and his face got even angrier.

"He took your car!" I nodded and started to laugh a little bit.

"What the hell is so funny?"

"You, and your facial expressions."

"Shut up and get inside before it rains."

I had to go home with Ruki, because I didn't want to intrude one Uruha and Aoi if they were planning on doing anything; which they weren't. It may not look like it but Uruha is not the one to really have sex with. He's still a virgin believe or not and going out with Aoi is really going to change that. Or not.

I hope they don't have any problems because of it. I was sitting in Ruki's living room, everything was black and red. I don't see what's wrong with just having a regular living room with just a simple plain color. He's so dark all the time. I was looking around and saw a lot of the pictures he had up were him and this girl.

I didn't know who she was; so maybe it's one of his girlfriends. I picked on up and looked at it closely to see if I recognized her at all; but Ruki came and I put it down. He smiled, and sat down next; he stared at one of the pictures.

"Ruki, who is she?" He looked like he was going to cry but he didn't he kind of brushed it off.

"So, what do you to eat?" He said to me trying to change the subject.

"Takanori are you okay."

"Yeah, I am; so what do you want to eat for dinner?" I shrugged; it was his place he should pick.

"Anything is fine."

"Pizza then." He got up and went in the kitchen. This girl has to be someone he cares about a lot, I got to stop thinking about this and just let Ruki have his privacy.

The pizza came and we were just talking, I wanted to ask him who she was but I could see in his eyes the he was still hurt from the first time I asked him.

"Takanori, I really need to go home." He didn't say anything he looked up at me.

"Why? So you can get beaten again or worse."

"I thankful that you are concerned about me but, I'll be fine; it will just pass I know it will get better."

"No. No, it will not get better. It never does, it just keeps getting worse and you know it will." I couldn't say anything, I felt kind of sick. Ruki very over protective it made me think about the girl in the picture, he being over protective may have been because of her. The only person who has known Ruki longer than I have is Uruha and Reita. God knows, I can't talk to Reita, but Uruha might have something. I went to sleep, in the guest and I couldn't get over the feeling that something was wrong.

I woke up early the next day so, I could get home to see Akira. He would be really angry that I didn't come home. I left Ruki a note and hoped to God that he wouldn't get mad at me. As soon as I got out side, I saw Akira there on the curb. He looked pissed, and I knew this was about me not coming home last night. I walked over to him and he told me to get in the car. We were quiet on the way home, and I wanted to ask him about Ruki.

"Akira, did Ruki ever have a girlfriend?"

"No, why?"I couldn't believe he answered me.

"Well, he has pictures of this girl and him, almost all over the house. I just thought that was maybe a girlfriend he had."

"Huh, and you were in his house why?"

"He just invited me over, but that's beside the point."

"Oh, really why didn't you come home last night?"

"I slept over at his place." He didn't say anything. "I don't know who the girl who was you saw."

"Okay, what about the whore you were with yesterday, who was she?"

"She was just a friend; why are you acting like it's a big deal?"

"It is to me, I didn't know where you to were going!"

"Well, I didn't know you were last night, I love you Yutaka and I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

"You took my car, and I didn't have anywhere to go."

"That's why you were at Ruki's place." When we got home, I started to clean up a little bit; Akira was asleep so I decided to give Uruha a call. I hoped that he was awake.

"Hello," It was Aoi "Hi, Aoi it's me Kai can I talk to Uruha?"

"Yeah, sure hold on."

"Hello Kai!"

"Wow, you sound excited what's going on?"

"Nothing, I'm just happy I've been happy a lot since me and Aoi got together."

"So, did you two do anything last night?"

"No! Why would we, we just started going out." He started to laugh, I thought he was drinking again; but it was too early and then again this was Uruha I was talking too.

"You are way too happy; I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah, sure what is it."

"Did Ruki ever have a girlfriend?"

"Um, well I don't think so; why?"

"Well, I was over his place and I saw pictures of him and this girl and I thought it was his girlfriend."

"Oh, um."

"Do you know who she is?" There was long pause in the conversation.

"Um, I don't think I should be the one to talk about it."

"Why, who is she? Ruki won't tell me."

"Wait, you asked him?"

"Yeah, but he didn't say anything. Do you know her name?"

"Shimane Matsumoto, that's all I know about her."

"Shimane... Okay thank you."

"Why, are you going to ask him? I recommend that you didn't."

"I'm not going to ask, I was just curious."

"Okay, is that all?"

"Yep, bye."

"Bye." I wonder who she is, maybe its' bothering Ruki in some way.

**A/N: I hope you are all wondering who the "girl" is in the pictures in Ruki's house. And for all of you Kai fans out there, I love Kai too; don't worry it gets better for him. Not any time soon though, and there will be more Uruha/Aoi too. ;) I LOVE ALL MY READERS! Sorry for not having any updates in awhile, I hope this makes up for it:D**


	3. Chapter 3

I shook with fear as Reita walked towards me with anger in his eyes. He slapped me, "please, Reita-kun."

He grabbed my cheeks.

"You were fucking around with Ruki again weren't you?"

"No I swear!"

"If I ever catch you with him I'll kill the fucker right in front of you! Do you understand?"

I nodded feeling as weak as ever, I slid down against the wall he pinned me to and started crying.

"Now, make yourself useful and clean up this God damn house! I'm going out with a friend of mine."

He slammed the door as he left, I got up carefully and started to grabbed some cleaning items. I haven't cleaned in awhile, since Reita started beating me again. He was okay last week, just verbal abuse. Nothing serious, he seemed more happy then. It was just when I decided to stay over at Ruki's for one night. He was really angry at Ruki and threatened to kill him if he ever went near me. But that didn't stop him, he kept me at his house for a whole week after that one night.

It almost got him killed, I had to pay the price for it though. Ruki on the other found out what Reita did to me and called the Cops. As I was cleaning the kitchen counter tops. I heard a knock at the door, I walked over to the door and carefully unlocked it. I opened to see a short, little blonde haired friend, whose happy face turned into an angry one.

"What the hell happened to your face?"

"Ruki, you really shouldn't be here."

"I didn't see jackass's motorcycle outside."

"You still shouldn't be here."

"You still didn't answer my question what happened to your face?"

"Nothing now would you please leave?"

"No. You need to rest and dump Akira."

"What's that going to do!" Tears streamed down my face and over my lips. It made them sting since I've been biting my lips a lot to feel pain.

"He's just going to come back looking for me again, and I won't have anywhere to go but back to him."

"You'll come with me, I don't care what that asshole will do." I let Ruki inside since it was about to rain, he helped me clean up the house and we ate lunch together. As we were together I wasn't afraid anymore I felt a lot stronger when I was with him. We talking about what we should do for our next single and how Ruki was thinking about getting a dog.

A little while later I got tired and we just sat on the couch and watched T.V. My eyes were getting heavy and I laid on him. I suddenly fell asleep hearing the television and Ruki's soft breathing.

_I dreamed that I was in the middle of a meadow with all different color flowers everywhere. I walked gently across the soft, green grass it was warm against my bare feet. I looked up at the sky, there wasn't a cloud in sight and the sun brighter than ever. I felt the sun's ray upon my skin as I continued to walk across the heavenly land. I looked around and saw Ruki, standing there smiling and waving at me. _

_He started to run and I ran after him, I was faster that wind. I got up to Ruki in no time and we were running side by side. It felt like time slowed down as we were running through meadow and into the woods. He started to slow down, and he came to a stop. I slowed down and went back over to him. _

_"Ruki, What's wrong?" He looked at me his eyes turned completely black, blood started to come out his mouth and eye. He started coughing up blood, and fell down to the ground. I got down to his level and he lifted his head faster than I could blink. His face was covered in blood and his eyes had no white in them they were just black. Black veins started to appear on his face and arms and his hands. _

_He stared at me and opened his mouth, and said, "RUUUUN!" It instantly got dark and clouds were appearing in the sky, thunder and lighting roared through the sky. Ruki was no where to be found. Instead I saw Reita standing 3 feet across from me. He smiled and started walking towards me. I got up and ran faster than I ever ran before. He got up to and pounced on me and all I could get out was a scream. _

I woke up with a start, and started to cry. But Ruki was there to hold me. "Hey, what happened?" I didn't want to talk about my dream I had. I was scared that he might get freaked out. "Just a bad dream that's all."

He pulled me in an embrace and held me tight. I felt so warm and safe with him, I didn't want to leave his grasp. Suddenly I heard the door unlock I shot right up.

"Oh my God, Ruki you have to leave. Through the back door."

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm tired of you being of afraid of this dick!" The door opened, it was Akira but not just him it was the girl with him too. He looked at me and then at Ruki, whose arms were crossed and with a disgusted look on his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He looked at me and I looked down at the ground.

"Kai, I told you about hanging around with him. Ruki get the hell out!"

"No! I'm not going to go anywhere knowing that you just might beat the crap out of him because he was just standing there."

"Ruki, please just leave." I whispered hoping that he would comply but knowing him it just went in one ear and came out the other.

"If you want me to leave I'm taking Kai, he's been through the beatings and getting raped by you for 3 years straight."

"Fine! Take the little bitch I don't give a shit. He useless to me anyway, I done fucking with him." Tears formed in my eyes, he really felt that way towards me.

"Akira, I thought you loved me?"

"Kai, he never loved you the way he's always treated never meant love."

"Get the hell out, Ruki and take the little shit with you!"

"At least give him time to pack up so he can leave this shit hole you call a house!"

"Okay, you get an hour to get you and your stuff out!" He took the girl and left out the door, I watched them go and he slammed the door. I broke down, I never cried this hard before in my life.

"Hey, what's wrong? You're finally getting away from this guy once and for all. You _should _be happy."

"He doesn't love me anymore." I cried even harder, and my legs gave out, Ruki caught me and sat me down on the couch.

"So what, he's a jerk; come on lets get your stuff. You can move in with me."

"Thank you."

I quickly packed some of my things, all of my things. It was easier because Ruki was helping me. I was scared that I would somehow later see Reita again and it won't be so nice.

_**Ruki's POV**_

I drove Kai back to my place I think he fell asleep from smoothness of the ride and the Jazz I put on to calm him down. I noticed that Kai looked a lot thinner than he did before. Also that his cheeks were darkened from not having a proper meal. If he was getting beaten and forced to make Reita things to eat, I would imagine him having to skip a few meals.

I decided that I was going to make him something to eat, though I wasn't gifted with Kai's cooking skills. I would still do my best to feed and protect him. We finally got to my place, since Reita through Kai out of his own place and he would kill either me or Kai if we tried to kick him out. I hated having to wake Kai up, he was sleeping so peacefully but if I was taller I would carry him in myself.

Once we got in the house, I had him lie on my bed for a little while

He tried to protest in but I insisted and eventually made lay down. I tried my best fix something up I had in the Kitchen, like I said before I wasn't gifted with superior cooking skills.

I eventually ended up with a nice plate of Yakisoba and Miso soup. Kai said it was good but I think he was being modest.

"So, what are we going to do now?"

"Well, first you got rid of that creep, and now it's just trying to coop with it and we'll see later down the road."

"Ruki, I don't think it's going end here."

"I know that's why I'm trying to get a restraining order on that freak."

"But how will either of us be able to be in a band if he can't be anywhere near me?"

"Oh, yeah I didn't think of that, we'll figure something out."

"He's going to kill us both." He said in a whisper, I almost believed him.

"We'll worry about that later, now keep eating." He nodded and continued to eat his food, I laid down next to him and watched T.V. he fell asleep a little while after.

_**~~~Going to Reita~~~**_

_**Reita's POV**_

I can't believe I let him go! He's mine, I own him and I'm not going to let some _**BITCH**_ take him away! I'm going to get Kai back and when I do, I'm going to kill him and Ruki! I left the house that was supposed to be cleaned by Kai at all times and went to PS Company building for practice. When I went into the practice room, I saw what I've been looking for and I have to get him back no matter what. I walked over to him.

"Hi, Yutaka."

_**Kai's POV**_

My heart jumped into my throat my back was turned so I did not see who was talking to me, but I knew that voice. The voice that was creeping inside my head ever since I'd left him. To look back was suicide but I turned around; I didn't say anything I just looked at him. Giving him a sign of approval so I could he what he had to say and then go into the bathroom a throw up. I feel Ruki's eyes on both of us, his angry but yet protective eyes.

"Y-yes?" "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Oh, I'm fine? I think."

"What's wrong?" "Nothing." I was shaking horribly and I couldn't stand it. A flashback rushed into my mind of the last time Akira talked to me like this; he took me into the bathroom and tried to drown me in the toilet, and later raped me on the bathroom floor. The thought that he just might do that again gave me a headache and I rushed out of the room and into the bathroom. I started throwing up hard in the toilet. It hurt my stomach and I my throat felt like it was on fire. I sat down on the floor and wiped the remains that were still on my face with some toilet paper. I heard that bathroom door open and immediately closed my eyes tight.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched.

"Hey, it's okay." It was Ruki, thank God. He helped me up off of the floor, I was still shaking and I needed to lie down. I washed my face and Ruki told the others that he was going to take me home. They all agreed that we would have practice first thing in the morning. I got in Ruki's car and was instantly falling asleep when I heard Ruki yelling. I got out the car and walked over to the loudness of his voice. He was yelling at Reita and I rushed over to break it up but Reita eyes locked onto me and I stopped, Ruki looked over at me.

"Kai, what are you doing out of the car?"

"I heard yelling."

"Don't worry about it baby, it's okay." He called me 'baby' maybe it was because he thought of me that way. I wasn't a 'baby' I can tell Reita off.

"Akira, you know we're over and we'll never get back together."

"Oh, really?" That tone he had in his voice scared the hell out of me that my legs gave out. Ruki caught me, "Hey, you need to get back in the car." He helped me up and walked me back toward the car. I got in and was falling asleep. I felt the car smoothly drive on the rode and I was rocked to sleep by the music Ruki had put on.

I tried to think about the things that have happened to me lately and how they will be in the future. I could only think of Ruki and how nice and wonderful he's been but Akira would always creep back into my mind and destroy the fantasy I wanted with Ruki. I wanted to be with Ruki, I wanted to stay with him, I wanted him. I love him.

_**~~~The Next Few Days~~~**_

I was feeling a lot more anxious and I didn't know why. It was a very hot day today so I was just inside Ruki's house lying in front of the air conditioner and drinking water. Ruki was watching T.V. and had his shirt off. I was thinking about all of the times Ruki had stood up for me against Reita. He was always the on to complain about things especially if those things involved me.

Thanking him was the least I could do, there had to be something more I could do to show how grateful I am to him. I'm very happy that he's my friend and I love him. I looked at him, he always had an indifferent look on his face but yet it was a compassionate one as well. He looked at me and smiled, "You bored?" I nodded and I sat up staring out the window and then back at him.

"Well, what do you want to do?"

Then it hit me, I thought of the perfect way I could thank him. I got really close to his, inches away from his lips and gave him a passionate kiss.

I could tell he was surprised but he quickly gave in. I slipped my tongue in his mouth and deepened out kiss. Our tongues danced around exploring each other's mouths. I wanted more all of a sudden and started to feel him pushing so I could lie down on my back. His hand went under my shirt rubbing me across my stomach, I put my arms around him to deepen the kiss. I haven't felt like this in a _long_ time.

I could feel him getting hard and really getting into this. I wanted him so badly and now I was happy with Ruki and not thinking about him. I started to pull down his pants along with his underwear, and he was pulling off my shirt. I laid down so he could get my pants off as well, soon we were naked. I loved the way our bodies rubbed against each other.

"Kai, you don't know how long I waited for you."

**_Reita's POV_**

I was lying down thinking about Kai, he was going through my head over and over again. I sat up looking out the window, I was feeling as if my heart was torn out of chest, by some short little monster. Who had to be killed. I got out of bed and grabbed my keys. "I going to find that little fucker and I **_will_** kill him."


	4. Chapter 4

There were three things I was absolutely positive about. One was that Takanori sees me as his cousin that was killed and will do anything to keep Akira away from me. Two that Akira had something big in stored for me and Ruki and we might be getting a taste of that very soon. And three, I am uncontrollably, unconditionally in love with Takanori.

Later, Ruki and I met in the practice room, it was raining outside so it made me really depressed. I sat on the floor with Ruki waiting for the others to arrive. They were a half hour late and Ruki isn't really known to be the patient on in the band.

"Where is everyone?" He asked angrily, I looked down sad.

"I'm sorry, Ruki. There'll be here soon."

"They'd better be." Just then the door opened and the rest of the band entered.

"What took you guys so long?" Uruha smiled, "Sorry, I woke up and Aoi was taking _too_ long in the bathroom. But I don't know why Reita's late."

"I was doing more important things." Ruki looked at him like he was about to punch his face in.

"Really, more important things? Let me guess sleeping with that slut of yours, right?"

"You shut up, you stupid little piece of shit!"

"Guys stop it, please can we just practice." Reita looked at me with a cold, dead stare. I jerked and looked away quickly going over to my drum set. He walked in front of me and looked at me.

"Yutaka, I love you." I looked up at Akira confused. I didn't know what do to or to say. I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Don't you love me back?" 'I-I don't know, I have to think about this." I held my head and sat down, a familiar headache came back to haunt me again. He sat next to me.

"What is there to think about?" Ruki walked over with his arms crossed.

"He's probably thinking about, whether he wants to stay safe with me or go back to being beaten by you." I heard Uruha gasp and felt both Aoi and Uruha stare in our direction.

"What? Akira you used to hit Kai?"

"No, I did not. Ruki is just jealous because loves me and not him."

"Really, he can't even be within five feet of you, what makes you think he loves you." The headache I had was getting worse, I wanted to just lie down and die. Instead, I blacked out.

_**~~~Three hour later~~~**_

I woke up in Ruki's arm but everything was dark, I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face.

"Ruki?"

"Hm?"

"Where are we what's going on?"

"Don't worry about it okay." Then I realized the voice that was talking didn't sound like Ruki at all.

"Akira?" No sound escaped, but the grip around me tightened.

"Akira, please let me go."

"Why? So you can leave me again."

"Akira, please I don't want to be here, I want Ruki."

"He doesn't love you."

"Yes he does."

"He wouldn't have let me take you home if he loved you." I tried to break out of his hold but he threatened to hurt me if I tried to leave. I felt him reach over and turn that light on, we were in our bedroom. So many horrid memories started to come back. He started to rub my head, and told me it was going to be okay. He pushed me off to the side and got up from the bed.

"Go make me something to eat." He went into the bathroom to take a shower.

"Okay." I got up and went to the kitchen. There wasn't anything I make because he never goes to the store and buys anything. As I was making him something to eat he sneaks up on me. I jump as he puts his arms around my waist.

"Akira, please let me make you something to eat."

"Go ahead I'm not bothering you."

"Yes, you are I can't focus with you holding me." He knocks the pan full of hot food onto the floor.

"Hurry up and clean this mess, you stupid clumsy idiot." He walked away, my hands were burnt from trying to pick up the hot food.

After I cleaned up I realized Akira went out and bought something to eat. He sat down by the T.V. and started to eat his food. I came by and sat down on the couch, I could feel my stomach growling. I was starving, "Are you hungry?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then go in the kitchen and make yourself something to eat!" He got up with his food and went into the bedroom. I sighed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. I turned on the water and as cold as possible and sat down. I pulled my knee up to my chest and started to cry.

I wish I was dead, and I wonder where Ruki is. Wait. Where is Ruki, I can't remember what happened before I came here. I got out of the shower and put the same clothes on. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the phone and hid in the closet. I called Ruki to see if he was okay.

"Hello?"

"Ruki? It's me Kai."

'Kai! Oh my God are you okay? Don't worry I'm coming to get you."

"Wait what happened to me how did I get to Akira's place?"

"You passed out so we called an ambulance but, Akira said he could get to the hospital quicker on his Harley. We agreed to let him take you and he told us which hospital you were at but when we got there they didn't have you signed in. We called the police because we thought Akira kidnapped you but he just took you to his place. I'm coming to get you okay there's a search party out for you."

"Oh my God. How will you be able to get me?"

"Don't worry about that, I'll take care of that."

I hung up and opened the closet door to see someone in front of me.

I looked up, "So, Ruki _thinks_ he's coming to get you?" He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up and carried me over his shoulder. I started to scream hitting his back. He carried me outside to his car. He put me in the back seat. I tried to fight but he hit me in the head and I just gave up. He closed the door and got on the drivers' side and started to car. I soon passed out. Again.

_**~~~Ruki' POV~~~**_

I told Uruha what was going on and told him to go see Akira and talk to him. While Aoi and I try to sneak Kai out of the apartment but, unfortunately that wasn't the case. When Uruha got he said that Akira wasn't there and Kai was gone too. He also saw that Akira left a note.

"_I know you guys maybe looking for us, but we're okay and we wanted to tell you that we've decided to quit the band._

_We feel that we can't accepted and I'm being accused for hurting my new Fiancé. He wouldn't have left with me if I was beating him. So, I love all of you guys and so does Kai."_

_Sincerely, Akira_

So, we decided we'd go looking for Kai ourselves. Aoi was driving to a place where Akira would most likely take Kai.

Their first trip together, "Naruko, Miyagi; there's an onsen up there that they went to a couple years back maybe he's in that area."

"No, that's too easy he might have went back to Kanagawa." Uruha was in back crying softly, he couldn't believe that his _best _friend would do something like this and he hopes Kai is still alive.

"Do you have any idea where they might be, Kouyou?" He shook his head and more tears came down.

"Damn, what are we going to do if we don't find Kai in time." I looked at Aoi and felt like punching him the face.

"Don't say that! Don't you ever say that! We will find him." He sighed and stopped the car in a random parking lot.

"We'll, if we're going to save him we have to have some lead on where they are." "Your right." Kouyou sniffed, " The only person he would tell anyone something like this besides me is Saga."

"From Alice Nine? Why the hell would he tell him anything?"

"Because to tell you guys the truth he's the only other person Akira can trust if all else fails." I felt even angrier, if Saga knew something he has to tell us. "Alright, we'll go see Saga." They both nodded in agreement and went back into the car. I drove back the other way to see Saga.

_**~~~Kai's POV~~~**_

I cried in the room Akira put me in. I had no idea where I was and how to even get out. I heard a door open from outside the room I was in. I could hear footsteps approach the door. I started panicking, I was scared. The door opened and Akira and someone else was at the door I couldn't see who it was. There was only a little bit of light, just enough to see Akira's face.

_**~~~Ruki's POV~~~ **_

We made it to Saga's place hoping he was still there. I knocked on his door hoping it was him that would open. The door opened but it wasn't Saga it was Shou. He looked like someone just threw a ton of bricks at him.

"Ruki? Uruha? Aoi? What are you guys doing here?"

"We need to talk to Saga." He closed the door just a little bit so we could only see half of his face. He looked like he was trembling and I could tell he had a black eye and a bruise on his head which reminded me of Kai's.

"He's not here. Now please go!"

"Uh, No we're not going to leave. Do you know where he went?"

"No, please just go. I can't talk to you now." Just as he was about to close the door Aoi pushed it open.

"Are you hiding something from us?"

He looked scared as ever, I felt sorry for him. Saga must have been hitting him to.

"No, I'm not please just go. I don't know where Saga is!" I could see he was crying now. Uruha walked over to him and gave him a hug.

"Shou, I know you're scared but we really need to know where he is."

"No. No, I'm sorry I can't."

"Shou, please look at me we can get you out of this if you just tell us where Saga is." He nodded and asked us to come in. We sat down on the couch and discussed what was going on. He hesitated but, he took a deep breathe and began to talk.

"Saga said that he and Reita we're going to Okinawa to do something."

"And what are they doing?" I asked, his voice sounded shaky and he looked as if he were about throw up.

"I don't know, he never told me."

"We'll do you know where in Okinawa?"

He shook his head, "I don't know." He sniffed as if he were about to cry. Uruha sat next to him, "Shou has Saga been hitting you?" He sniffed again and tears came down, he nodded. "Did he ever threaten to kill you if you told anyone where he was going?"

He started cry, Uruha pulled him in an embrace. He rubbed his back, I felt really sorry. We shouldn't have came knowing that Shou was in an emotional wreck. Aoi sighed, "We need to get going, Okinawa is 8 hours away if we want to get Kai."

Shou's head lifted up, "Reita took Kai?" I nodded wishing that it was a lie. "Yeah, he did and we need to get him back."

Aoi got up, "So, that's why we have to leave."

Uruha looked at him angrily, "we can't leave Shou. What if Saga comes back?"

"Well, the guy hasn't given us any useful information."

"That doesn't mean we have to leave him here, Shou is obvious is scared out of his mind."

"Uruha is right Aoi we need to get Shou out of here."


	5. Chapter 5

We decided to take Shou with us, we didn't want him being alone with no one to comfort him and we certainly didn't want Saga coming back to continue hitting him. He sat in the back with Uruha, and tried to get him to calm down. He was so afraid about leaving with us he started hyperventilating.

So, Uruha was trying to get him to go to sleep which wasn't very hard he was out in the next 20 minutes, and Uruha fell asleep a little bit later. I heard them both snoring which I thought was very cute. Aoi sighed, shaking his head which seemed to be in disagreement. I looked at him questionably.

"What's wrong with you?"

"We shouldn't have brought Shou. He's just going to get in the way."

I looked straight ahead, "Yeah, we should've left back there so he could get his ass beat." I said sarcastically, I couldn't believe he wanted us to leave Shou back there.

"You know that I meant 'with us', we shouldn't have brought him with us. We're going to get Kai and Reita and Saga are there too. Plus he's a little freak, and he has something wrong with him."

"What has he ever done to you?"

"He's just so weak." I felt like punching him in the face.

"What do you expect from someone's who is getting beaten everyday."

"Kai, was never like that. All scared of just looking at someone."

"Kai, always looked down when he talked to people ever since him and Reita got together." He shook his head and didn't say anything. I sighed and looked out the window. I felt my eyes getting heavy I hadn't slept in days practically and I was asleep in no time. 

_"You can't keep going back to him!" "You are not in charge of my life! I know it will work out!" "No, it wont please." She grabbed her stuff and was heading out the door. "Stop. He'll kill you." "Let me go Takanori! You don't know him." He ran out after as she went into her boyfriend's car. _

"Ruki, Ruki wake up." I opened my eyes to see Uruha.

"We're going to stay in a hotel for tonight." I nodded and got up. I was still angry at Aoi for all the things he said. I looked at Shou who was clinging to Uruha, he looked really depressed and looked like he'd been crying. His eyes were red and puffy. We walked towards the hotel and waited for them to assign us to a room. I tried to call Reita's cell but it kept going to voice mail.

I looked over at Shou sitting in the lobby he was rocking back and forth. I felt sorry for him. I walked over and sat next t him. I touched his back and he jumped.

"I'm sorry, Shou do you know Saga's cell number?" He shook his head. I could tell he was lying.

"Shou, please I know you're scared but please we need to get all the information we can." Uruha came over and Shou runs over and clings to him. Shou really needs help. I think something else happened to him.

"Our room is ready." I nodded and got up, I looked at Aoi he looked at Shou angrily and looked at me and walked towards the elevator. We were in the elevator waiting and all I could hear was Shou sniffing. We entered our room and burst of cool air came rushing towards me. I turned the light on and sat down on one of the beds.

Putting my head in my hands, "Now, what?" Uruha walked in, "It smells nice here." Aoi laid down and looked up at the ceiling. I lied down kicking my shoes off. I noticed something wrong and I sat up.

"Where's Shou?" Uruha pointed to the bathroom door and mouths, 'He's throwing up.' I nod and suddenly feel sorry for him. I hear the toilet flush and the faucet come on. The door opened and he had a towel with him covering his face. "I'm sorry." Uruha sits next to him, "It's okay, come on let's go get some fresh air."

He nods and leaves the room with Uruha. Aoi looks at me, "What the hell was that all about?"

"He's scared out of his mind. We're heading right into a hell hole with Saga in Okinawa."

"He needs to stop being so scared."

"Yeah, Aoi you try and go facing you worst fear head on."

"You know what Ruki if you want to go help you schizophrenic friend then 'be my guest'." I looked at him confused, and tried to register what he just said.

"He's not-," "Oh yes he is, Tora told me."

"When did he tell you?"

"Two years ago, he said that he noticed something eerie about him since they first met and one night Shou ended up in the hospital from walking out in the middle of the night for some reason. The doctors at the hospital said that he showed a lot of signs of possible schizophrenia, from the way he talked and how he kept spacing out. They next two nights, when he was still in the hospital, they looked in his medical record saying from age 16 to 19 he had to be treated at a Uenai Mental Hospital." "I don't believe you." "What? You don't fine ask him yourself."

"I'm not going to-, you know what fuck you Aoi."

I left the room, I think I needed some fresh air as well. Aoi doesn't know what he's talking about, Shou was the nicest person I've ever met . He was always so happy and out going. I tried looking for Uruha and Shou around the lobby and noticed them outside talking. I know it wasn't right to eavesdrop but I didn't want to just walk in one them.

_**~~~Conversation between Shou and Uruha~~~**_

"So, he would do all those things to you?"

"Yes, um in the beginning of our relationship he would have, Reita-sama beat me… and rape me." Uruha looked at him in disbelief, why would his best friend do that to someone.

"Then would go and do… have sex with each other and make me watch. It was heartbreaking. I loved Saga, and the worst part is," he said starting to cry; tears forming in his eyes, He had both of his eyes. He had both of his hands on his head, crying hard.

"I still love him." He broke down in tears.

"He would bring Tora and Nao to have sex with and make me watch. Hiroto was the only one who tried to get me out but, Saga threatened to kill him. It was horrible, I still have nightmares about it."

_**~~~Back to Ruki's POV~~~**_

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, it was terrible and it _was_ heart breaking. He still loves him, that hard to do when the person you love has put you through hell. I got up from the seat that I was sitting in and left. Poor Shou that's a terrible thing he has to live with. If he does have schizophrenia then he really needs help. I went back to the room.

_**~~~Kai's POV~~~**_

"Stop it please!" I couldn't take the pain anymore. Reita was across the room watching, not doing anything about it. His on top of me was painful on my back. I was lying on my and it was making it harder for me to breathe.

"Alright, Alright Saga get the hell out of him."

"You had you turn!"

"Yes, and he's ,my fiancée. You should have brought Shou with you if you wanted some ass." He pulled out of me and I was unbearably sore.

"You think I'm going to bring that freak so he can kill us all."

"Schizophrenia doesn't have anything to do with murder and besides didn't he get treated for it."

"Yeah, if you call 'coming out of an Asylum and trying to kill your dad' treated then-." "Don't get smart with me jackass, now get the hell out of the bed." He got up and left the room, Akira walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead.

"Get some sleep." I looked at him as he leaves. I turn onto my side and pulled the covers up. I dreamed that I was in the meadow again but it was cloudy and the flowers that were once alive were now dead. I saw Reita across the field with Ruki.

I walked over and looked at them. The ground started to shake and the place they were standing was spilt in between them. I know had two paths, a choice to make between them.

Ruki's side was beautiful and full of life and… freedom, something I longed for. Reita's was full death and abuse. As I tried to walk over to Ruki I could feel myself getting pulled over to Reita's side. No matter how many times I tried to stop myself. Ruki was get farther away, I tried to reach out him but I felt Reita's hand grab hold of me, I tried to hit him but I felt a slap come across my face. I woke up to Reita trying to pin me down.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Bad dream." He kissed me…passionately it was old Akira, the one I wanted, the one I longed for. The kiss was passionate, I opened my mouth to let his tongue inside. I felt his tongue dance inside my mouth. Saga walked in the room, and everything stopped.

"Ruki called, he said he's coming to get Kai and that he's going to kill us."

**"That little piece of-, alright we're leaving now!"**

* * *

**A/N: I was so anxious to write this that I cut it down a little bit. I'm SORRY I love all of you but I promise that the next chapter will be even better.**

**You know I love Shou, but I'm going through an Alice Nine phase that has me obsessed with Shou he's so cute but I had to give him something in here and since this story is a very sad one his part couldn't happy.**

**In case you all don't know Shou does not have Schizophrenia, and for all of you who don't have a clue what that is**

**SCHIZOPHRENIA:**  
**Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that makes it difficult to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, to think logically, to have normal emotional responses, and to behave normally in social situations. Schizophrenia may have a variety of symptoms. Usually the illness develops slowly over months or years. Like other chronic illnesses, schizophrenia cycles between periods of fewer symptoms and periods of more symptoms. **

**Symptoms:**

**Appearance or mood that shows no emotion (flat affect)**

**Bizarre movements that show less of a reaction to the environment (catatonic behavior)**

**False beliefs or thoughts that are not based in reality (delusions)**

**Hearing, seeing, or feeling things that are not there (hallucinations)**

** These symptoms will be seen later on from Shou in the later chapters, and my possible sequel.(If I have the time) :|**

**Don't worry Shou lovers everything works out for him. **

**Information of Schizophrenia:**

**..gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001925/ **


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